i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
