no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
