just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
