I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
nutella sex= disaster
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
