then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
the raccoons are back...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
