at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
