bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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