My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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