it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We have so much sex to catch up on
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
