i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
