Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
4 words: hood of his car
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
