And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
