Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
