Dual....:-)
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
