lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
