That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
