It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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