I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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