when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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