she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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