i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
