i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
