She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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