Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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