There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
