My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
