I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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