Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
not ubering you a puppy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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