How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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