I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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