I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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