okay pat passed out under dana's car
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
