Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
