maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
