I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
