you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
