JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
