You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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