Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
