I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My vagina is very pro this idea
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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