her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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