I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i wish my penis had a tongue
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
