How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
