protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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