my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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