i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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