and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
