dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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