I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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