I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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