a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize