NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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