i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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