This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
